Bored on the Job

Hilarity from my parents | May 19, 2008

My parents can’t figure out how to call their voicemail, but my dad figured out how to forward this.

—-

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

       Here are this year’s winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

       1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

       2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

       3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.  (one envelopes our work site here)

       4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders
the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

       5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

       6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn’t get it.

       7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.

       8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

       9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

       10. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all
these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it’s, like, a serious bummer.

       11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.

       12. Glibido: All talk and no action.

       13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

       14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

       15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

       16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you’re eating.

       And the #1 pick:

       17. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and a jerk.

 

May your day be free of ignoranuses and arachnoleptic fits.

xoxo,

boredbetty

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Underpaid 20 somethings, trying to get through another day at work.

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